Once again, I am looking for a loophole to skip out of my Lenten commitment to spend 30 minutes in prayer/silence every day. This is something I should have already been doing for the last, oh, twelve years or so, and I can't even stick it out for 6 weeks!
Something about the surrender of time frightens me. It seems like a waste to read the Bible when there will be no tangible benefit tomorrow. I am scared that I may hear God tell me to do something. I am even more frightened at the prospect that he may not speak to me, that I will be left in miserable silence wondering if he is listening, if he cares-- if he is even there.
My only "alleluia" for Easter Sunday is going to be, "Yay! I don't have to spend time with Jesus anymore!"
A more realistic Lenten commitment would have been something like, "I commit to eat chocolate each and every day for the next 6 weeks." Actually, I wouldn't even have to commit to that one. I'm pretty sure I've kept it anyway.
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